Dont count your chickens even when your egg hatches.

ok, so things didnt quite work out with the job thing. to make a horrible long story short, the company decided to put a freeze on all postions for an unspecified amount of time. great. no, im not depressed. Im just broke and I feel like a complete idiot failure because I question everything that I have done. I only went to college, obtained two degrees, have never been in trouble, am willing to work as hard as I possibly can. Oh well.

check this out. something else huh? Bristol Palins Baby daddy?
Fox news I so dare you to report this "allegation"


I kinda believe him.

I gotta JOB

WOOOOWWW! how hard was it for a college graduate with experience to find a job? extremely. I have been looking since June 4th, rejection after rejection. Its amazing how much others have control over your life. I went on one interview and th feedback was that I just didnt seem to desire the job and that my ownership skills would give me problems working in a team enviornment. wtf? anyhow, never once did these psuedo psychiatrist ever think that this person is on the brink of financial disaster,is having major personal issues at home and is putting her best foot forward, nope, they saw someone who was withdrawn and overqualified. well screw you people. if i could remember your freakin names i would post them. ok. there goes my ranting and raving for the moment. now i will take the rest of this post to thank my lucky stars and GOD for making this possible. Next post im gonna list a few of my goals for the rest of the year.
over and out and blessed

swms

A Family Reunion

Well this past weekend my grandmothers family had a family reunion. I must say, I quite enjoyed myself. Im going to upload some pics if anyone sends them to me. Im a bit ashamed of myself that I dont know all of my local cousins who are my age that have just as high of aspirations as myself. we could really have a good time together. When my financial situation improves I would like to have some sort of get together. But not a get together for nothing, it has to be about something. One of my cousins suggested a political party which is a really cool idea, but since I know my other cousins through the reunions every two years I may have to tweak that a bit, I dont know, maybe some kind of family networking party where we find out what everyone is doing and see if we can all help one another achieve our goals, whether its a job referral, business guidance, school help etc. I dont know, Im just over being around people who are about nothing and it was a great comfort to see that I had people close in age and proximity to me that I can spend some quality time with.

This is little extra paragraph is just off subject for this post but I dont care. I absolutely am the luckiest girl in the world when it comes to having the best mate possible. I know my luck has been down lately but God absolutely blessed me with a man who has made me a better person, and what more can you really ask for from a person? I see myself and the world in a completely different light and this coming september we will have spent FIVE YEARS!!! together. No plans for marriage, I wouldnt dare look to marry such a wonderful man unless I can make his life half as good as he has made mine. A lot of women dont understand how to have a relationship and how to make them work. Its not easy and you really have to understand the person, yourself and get ready for this, your ROLE. Thats right, everyone must play a role in everything you do in life and if you accept it at work or school, why not accept and respect your role toward the person you love. If the role that you find yourself playing in your relationship dosent suit you, then leave. quite simple, yet so complicated.

Oh yeah, and im obsessed with Big Brother!! send jessie home.

Singing in the rain

Maybe about a week ago I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't help but laugh at myself. You know, as an adult we compose ourselves in such predictable and uniform ways that we lose sight of what important and what is not. The reason that I was laughing at myself is because it was pouring down raining and I was "stuck" in my car. I was thinking really hard about how I was going to maneuver around, get out of my car, grab my bags and make it to cover without getting soaking wet. (most people don't put that much though into a wedding!!) Well I decided the time was right to execute my plan and all was going well at first. The one thing that I didn't account for was my shoes, I had flip flops on, you know, being the typical Floridian that I am. I got out of my car, grab my bags (in magnificent time, might I add) and even remembered to lock the door, I began to run and immediately, one of my shoes fly off. Crap. I quickly bend over and pick it up and start running again, and again my shoe flies off. So at this point, all of my planning and what not has gone down the toilet, I am now officially soaked. After my shoe fell off the second time, I had a moment of clarity. I thought what am I running for? (besides the minor issue of lighting striking my black ass!) Almost in a defeatist manor, but not so much, I picked up my shoe and took off my other one and began to laugh and enjoy the rain. The rain that so many kids love to play in. I walked and I took my time and I could not have had a more endearing moment with myself. And even with that, it still took me a few days to come let that event marinate.

I was reading a local circular yesterday about a former pro football player who stays in my community and he opened up a summer camp for children. Basically, the same thing happened to the kids, it began to rain while they were outside and they began to run for cover. He just stood there in the middle of the rain (there was no lightning) and told them to come back and continue to have fun. You see? why on earth did I ever let the rain prevent me from doing something? Its simple. Its an excuse. Excuses are the tools of the incompetent. I'm not saying there aren't valid reasons to stay out of the rain, anyone can counter anything that comes out of my mouth, but rain? why on earth did i ever let rain prevent me from enjoying my day? The rain didn't stop me, I stopped me.




So, lately in this blog I have been ranting about life and my idiosyncrasies but I must say with an element of hope. Basically, I learned from my experience that one can always find ways to make excuses, but search and think as hard as I did when planning on how I was going to avoid the rain on how to enjoy it.

peace.

Sorry for being MIA

You know, sometimes I just dont feel like doing anything including expressing my feelings. So... lets see,its been a whole month since I wrote on my blog and I will give you a quick update. Well, I have been on two interviews for the same company. The first was local and the second they put me up in another town about 200 miles north of where I currently live. On both interviews, I wore the same outfit. A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I had an alternate one but my friend told me I need to stick to dark colors and since the only suit I have is a light blue and like a beige, guess which "dark" color I had to choose from. With this potential job, I will have to relocate and typically I would love to move, however, not under these circumstances. Lets see what else... I have gone to three job fairs and I didnt leave many resumes at all. Luckily, one of the few companies that I did leave my resume with called me for an interview on this tuesday. Actually, its in the IT field which is what I want to do right now, so im pretty excited about it, but not getting hopeful about anything. I have an appt on for a job fair on tuesday, yeah the same day that I have the interview, and again, im looking forward to that as well because its in a really lucrative field.
Oh yeah, I finally got my deposit check back after four months from the title company. All I had to do was call the bar on the freakin lawyer. not a big deal right. Its really a shame what you have got to do to let people know that your serious. After four months of calling the title company and speaking with rude gate keepers who refused to help and basically told me I was out of luck, I finally decided to call the bar to report the law office. I kid you not,within a matter of hours the situation was completely resolved. Shame on people for not doing the right thing with out having thier governing authority in thier business.
Obviously over the past month there has been a lot that has happened, none of which has been too good. you know what? even though things are bad as I approach my 27th birtday, Im still very hopeful and truely belive things will work out. Is that delusional? I did call my little sister for her 19th birthday, I have kind of been absent from her life since my father passed. She looks too much like him and it is just so much for me to handle,by the way, I look just like him to, I just happen to be a perfect mix between him and my grandaddy. Oh well... cheers to the next time I blog hopefully with some good news. Oh yeah, I said I would be employed in 30 days from the last post, well, that didnt happen, so onto the next goal, 30 more days :-)

The truth about the truth

Ever wonder why you lie when there is no need? well if you do lie but don't wonder, than... um... CHARACTER CHECK TIME!! Seriously, do you lie to yourself? do you think you have the ability or the inability to do something or not? Do you think your better or worse than the next? do you understand your place in life? Why do you care what people say or do if its not going to affect you? I mean seriously, every body has an asshole and an opinion. You know, I used to be hung up on so much shit about myself, and really it was only as serious as I made it. I am quite confident today and maybe I shouldn't be.. Nah, I really should be. Nothing externally though, just like who I am as a person. I know now what I value in others, and I want to exude those qualities myself. I just can appreciate someone saying how they feel, please give me your honest opinion, don't tell me some crazy stuff to make me feel better. That, in my mind, is the equivalent of a drug of some form because people go around all day looking for approval from others to make them feel something and it can either be a lie or not but either way its temporary and dependent. I depend on me. my truth today may not be my truth tomorrow and I'm fine with that because if I were the same me today that i was in 2000 I would be one hot mess. So I welcome change and I welcome a challenge and I will make an effort to display who I really am to people and stop doing a disservice to myself.

okay, just wanted to be weird for a moment, i have made some decent contacts for the j-0-B. Will keep you posted. I'm calling it right here, right now, I will be gainfully employed within 30 days. Let the countdown begin.

All work and No work

So, I have been applying for jobs left and right for over a week now, and lets just say 60 plus applications later, not one single call. wtf? Man, I cant believe no one wants me!! Hell, I have some wonderful skills a good personality and all that, but its like I cant even get an interview to display this. I changed my resume format and I think its more professional, I had the other resume my senior year in college and that was almost four years ago. Well.... I have been trying my best to make mends with people in my life that I hadnt spoken to in a while. I called my uncle ellis in houston for fathers day, after calling him an asshole for not calling and checking on me we talked and I told him I was sorry for cutting him off and seemingly changing overnigt. Oh my gosh, my cuz made some really good food, my man loved it, the only thing that wasnt cool is that I didnt cook the shit! I think I will need a few more rounds of practice, but I got my steak down the way that he likes it sooo thats pretty cool. Im sure I won brownie points with my neighbor because i gave her some cake that I didnt make and told her I did!! WHY LIE? I have no Idea, she wouldnt have cared but, hell, I guess I like praise, yeah I said it, and yes, even where its not due. But hey, at least im honest about it, how about you?!!!! One good thing that I did make was this strawberry salad. I absolutely love it, its healthy, not much ingredients and its a winner. I can literally eat it every day and take out a major chunk of calories that I eat during the day. I think!! I havent checked the caloric count on the dressing and we all know, thats where the fat really is, but its vinegar based... so it should be alright, right?
oh well, till next time. Hey, if anyone reads this blog and needs a biz anyalyst, underwriter or anything like that, let me know.
thanks
p.s., look past all of the curse words please!